The positives of 2012: Part Two

Here is the second installment of the positives from 2012. If you missed the original post, you can read it here. To see part one, go here.

July
- 4th of July festivities (parade, cookout with the in-laws, & fireworks)
- L.L.Bean 100th Birthday celebration
- Meeting Wally, the mascot for the Boston RedSox
- Beach Day
- Panda's Birthday
- Celebrating Panda and Uncle S's birthday with lobsters
- Watching the Olympics with my kids for the first time

August
- Goose being the flower girl in our cousins wedding
- Uncle K's birthday (cookout at the in-laws)
- Bought our first ever, washer & dryer!

September
- SeaDogs game
- First day at a new preschool for Spidey & Goose
- Goose's started ballet class
- Visiting Aunt J & Family in New York
- Area Campout
- Seeing our cousin M's football game
- Spidey started soccer
- Apple Picking
- Our 6th Wedding Anniversary (sushi to celebrate!)

October
- Simba cat's 7th Birthday
- Starbucks date with Panda
- Lunch date with the in-laws at Shaw's Wharf
- Picking out pumpkins
- Family date night to On the Border
- Carving pumpkins
- Ladies Circle harvest dinner
- Roasting pumpkin seeds
- Camp Sunshine Pumpkin Festival
- Spidey's 5th birthday & party
- Halloween & Trick or Treating

November
- My Birthday
- Starbucks date with Panda
- Peek Week at Goose's dance class
- L.L. Bean tree lighting
- B & K's adopted son C was born (you can learn more about them here)
- Thanksgiving
- Tinsel, our elf on the shelf, arrived- complete with a North Pole breakfast
- Decorated for Christmas

December
- Sparkle Weekend parade with the kids
- Spidey started basketball
- Spidey & Goose received a generous surprise package in the mail from a friend
- Listening to the Polar Express on the Amtrak train
- Ladies Circle Christmas program
- My mother-in-law's birthday celebration
- Panda's work Holiday party (cookie decorating, ice cream sundae bar, & a visit from Santa)
- Spidey & Goose's preschool play of the Grinch
- Christmas cookie baking
- Making the Dean's List for the fall semester
- Christmas Eve at my in-laws
- Christmas
- Sledding
- New Years Eve fun with the kids (movie & game night)

The positives of 2012: Part One

Today's post is in reference to yesterday's so make sure you check it out here to get caught up. 

So, here we go, today I am focusing on all of the positive things that happened in 2012. Nothing negative. And while many of these things may be materialistic, they still made me happy at the time and I am thankful to look back at them. So here is my year, in review, omitting the negative. 

January
- Witnessed the miracle of Baby Ben getting a heart transplant at 8 weeks old.
- I got to see my step brothers fiance find her perfect wedding dress. I wasn't able to see her in it on her special day but I remember how beautiful she looked in it at the store. 
- Chinese takeout to celebrate Chinese New Year (eating out is a rare and special treat for us)

February
- The Patriots won the Super Bowl

- My pseudo husband, Paul Pierce, outscored Larry Bird, making him the second highest scorer of all time for the Boston Celtics.

- Date weekend with my husband in Boston/Natick MA. 
- Girl's Night Out with some fabulous mommy friends, some of whom I had been waiting to meet for several years.
- Valentine's Day
- Goose's first night in her twin bed

March

- Goose celebrated her 3rd birthday

- St. Patrick's Day

April

- Swimming lessons for the kids (Goose's first time in a pool)

- Dyeing Easter eggs

- Easter

- Found out we were moving to a bigger, nicer place.

- We went to the circus
- Lily cat's 6th birthday

- Spidey & Goose got to meet Slugger, the mascot for the Portland Sea Dogs
- Opening day and first game for Spidey's tball team

May
- We moved!
- Mother's Day
- SeaDogs game with Spidey's Tball team
- Field trip to the Narrow Gauge Railway with Goose's preschool class

June
- Our cousins 8th grade graduation, followed by Round Top ice cream! Yum!
- Spidey's Tball closing ceremony & awards ceremony
- Father's Day: Hiking & picnic at Bradbury Mountain, followed by Ben & Jerry's
- The start of Goose being potty-trained

The looking glass

The past year was a very difficult year for me. My husband and I were ready for the year to end and a fresh start to begin before summer even began to wind down. I found myself on my knees more often then not, crying unto the Lord for guidance. If there ever was a time when I needed Him more, 2012 was that time. And while I look back on 2012, the year itself feels like a bad memory. I learned a lot that year, probably more than I have ever learned before. I grew. My husband grew. Our relationship grew. All because of the course we found ourselves on. One of two things usually happens to a relationship when the rest of the world seems to turn upside down, it either falls apart and shatters, or it strengthens and grows. At the end of the year, I had a reason to hold my head up. I still had a loving husband who stood by my side, who held my hand, who gave me words of encouragement, and who wasn't afraid to tell me when I was wrong. I still had my children, and as long as all four of us were together as a family, we could tackle the world together. Best of all, we all had our health. Nothing puts your life in perspective more than seeing a family grieving over their sick children or spouse. Most importantly, I still had God to stand by me. My relationship with Him grew tremendously throughout the year and it felt like a rekindled friendship. 

Throughout the year I gave myself little pep talks. Most of them centered around telling myself that as long as the four of us were together, that is all that would matter. Whatever happened, as long as we had each other, we would be fine. I guess I should technically say the 5 of us, because if God wasn't by our side every step of the way, my pep talks probably wouldn't have mattered. The unknown can be incredibly scary. Especially as a parent.But we made it, and it's in the past.

The problem with 2012 is that when I look back on it, all I see is heartache, pain, and tribulations. I feel as if I spent a great part of the year in tears or holding them back so that the rest of the world wouldn't see how much I was hurting on the inside. It wasn't until last night, when I was trying to find an article I posted on Facebook, for a friend, that I realized my views on the year had been jaded. I couldn't remember exactly when I posted the article, and originally I thought it was in the fall so I began scrolling back through my countless Facebook posts and pictures trying to find it. What I found in the process, was happiness. I saw the smiles on my children's faces, in pictures I had temporarily forgotten about. Of moments, events and small trips around town. Doing things that seem so mediocre but meaning so much more to them. 

If there is ever a time you want a different perpective on life, view it from the eyes of your children. You'll see the world in a new light. Everything will be exciting, everything will seem brand new. It was at that moment that I realized I was no longer going to let my view of 2012 be a negative one. Yes, there were many downs, but there were also many ups. As I clung to the negative, I had forgotten the positive even existed. Because of this I have decided to look back on the year and compile a list of happy memories from 2012. I will no longer focus on the bad, but on the good. When someone asks me about 2012, I will remember the Lord standing by my side. I will remember Him leading me and guiding me. I will remember how there were times that I felt like I just couldn't go on, and I will remember how He carried me. He was there for me then and I know He will be there for me in the future, whatever comes my way. 

Check back tomorrow for my list of positives from 2012.

Even the small things

A few months ago I had a really discouraging day.Most of it was from the combination of events from the several days preceding it. It seemed as if that day was the day that all of it came together and I realized how deeply it would affect my life from here on out. I have spent the past 3 years pouring all of my free time into my small business. I have spent thousands of dollars on supplies, I have spent countless hours photographing and editing pictures that show off my products. I have spent hours, days, weeks, and months, promoting my business on Facebook, Twitter, and my blog. And yesterday, at that very moment, I realized I might not be able to continue with my business adventure. I felt like a failure. I was discouraged. I let it affect me, and it put me in a bad place.

I had texted my husband to share my disappointment and to ask for his thoughts on how I should proceed. I needed reassurance, prayer, and guidance. I needed to see how the situation looked from his prospective since he was on the outside looking in. He is the closest person to my business, without actually being involved in it. Unfortunately, he was busy at work and over 7 hours went by before I got a response from him. At that point he was getting ready to leave work and I was looking forward to seeing him, and being in his arms. Something about feeling his arms around me always gives me a sense of reassurance, and that is exactly what I needed. 

We made it through a somewhat peaceful dinner, which is always considered an achievement when children are involved. As my husband was taking our kids upstairs to get them ready for bed, I worked on cleaning up the kitchen and then sat down at the computer for a few minutes to finish up some odds and ends for the night. I was thinking to myself how much I dislike the bedtime routine with the kids. The hassle of trying to get them to undress themselves, get in the tub, not splash water all over the floor, to dry them off, get their pajamas on, brush their teeth, say their prayers; it's all a hassle. Someone is always crying, and on most nights they tag team with the crying and fit throwing. My son claims he is never tired, that he can't dress himself, that he needs this or that. He puts up a fight. My daughter? Trying to get her to brush her teeth is a nightmare. Constant screaming and we have to hold her down. This happens every night and by then, my patience from the day has long sense disappeared. I wanted nothing more that night than to just put on my own pajamas and relax on the couch. And while I was thinking those thoughts, about how much I dread the nighttime routine, about how discouraging and unfair the day seemed, I came across this:

Ouch. There I was, sitting in my warm house, while my children and husband were upstairs getting ready for bed. All healthy, all safe. I had just finished cleaning up dinner, we were full and content. My husband had just spent the previous 9 hours at work. How could I be so selfish, to think that my problems were superior to so many other things? As much as it hurts to come to this realization (and similar ones occur quite often), I am thankful that I have the opportunity to realize it and to fix it. I am thankful that the Lord shows me these things that need fixing, that he shows me them to humble me, and to help put my thoughts in perspective.

I often spend so much of my time worrying about things that are so minuscule instead of just letting go and letting God. I blame it on my controlling personality. I like to have control. I like feeling accomplished. I'm an overachiever. It's a great personality trait to have, if used for the Lord but I am often guilty of using it as a bar that I set far too high to ever reach. I think back often to Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord"- Jeremiah 29:11

I often hear people say that the hardest decision they made was to allow God into their lives. For me, the hardest decision is to have faith that the Lord will handle everything. I often think my problems are too small to bother the Lord with but that isn't true. God wants us to come to him with everything. He says so himself in Isaiah.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: 

I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, 

I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." - Isaiah 41:10

A new year... a new beginning

Many people attribute the new year as a new beginning. Making resolutions for the new year is a popular practice among many societies and often we do them in hopes of bettering ourselves. Some resolutions stick, others are given up on before January draws to a close. 

One resolution that I always try my hardest to keep is renewing my relationship with God. Each year I brainstorm a list of goals I have for the coming year that will help strengthening my relationship with Him. I was born and raised in the church. I knew about God's love and His son's sacrifice for me. I grew up witnessing miracles, learning to trust in the Lord, and being taught to take everything to Him in prayer. 

It wasn't until I was baptized at 18 and starting out on the path of my own life that I fully understood the importance of having a relationship with God, and the sacrifice that was made for me. I use the new year as a time of reflection, a time to look back on the previous year and see how I did as a servant. By reflecting on the previous year, I am able to prepare my goals for the coming year. The best way to prevent myself from failing, is to set realistic and obtainable goals. 

One of my goals for this coming year is to read His word every day. Whether it's one verse, a whole chapter, or several chapters. I find the best way to do this is by doing it every morning. If I don't do it before I start my day, more than likely I will not find time to do it through-out the day. 

Reflect on the past year. Make a list of things you would like to change to better yourself as a person. Plan to spend the new year doing things that are pleasing to the Lord. Work on building your relationship with him. We should never be content with our work for Him until the day we are called home. 

I hope you all have a healthy and blessed new year. Tend to relationships you want to see grow. Mend broken relationships, life is too short to hold onto things from the past. Plan on devoting the year to God and he will surely strengthen you and be by your side.